Turning Setbacks Into Confidence: Reframe Your Negative Thoughts
Sometimes hockey leaves us with negative thoughts after a tough game, shift, or practice. That’s normal—but how we respond makes all the difference. To help with this, I’ve created a custom tool:
It walks you through the ABCDE model from Martin Seligman’s book Learned Optimism. I’ve added an extra step—F—that helps you plan what to do next. You can use it after a game, at school, or in everyday life—anytime you want to reframe adversity with optimism.
In hockey, tough moments are everywhere—a missed pass, being on the ice for a goal against, or a coach not saying much after the game. Our minds often jump to conclusions: “I always mess up,” or “Coach must be upset with me.”
The ABCDEF model helps change that story:
A – Adversity: The tough moment.
Hockey: You’re on the ice for a goal against.
Life: A friend leaves your message on “seen.”
B – Belief: The explanation you tell yourself.
Hockey: “That goal was all my fault.”
Life: “They must be mad at me.”
C – Consequences: How that belief affects your feelings and actions.
Hockey: You lose confidence and play timid.
Life: You worry all day and avoid texting back.
D – Dispute: Challenge the belief with evidence and perspective.
Hockey: “We were outnumbered on the rush—I was in position.”
Life: “They’re probably busy, not upset with me.”
E – Energization: Notice the shift in your energy and mindset.
Hockey: You feel ready and focused for your next shift.
Life: You relax and get on with your day.
F – Future: Plan what you’ll do proactively next time.
Hockey: “I’ll move my feet more and call for the puck.”
Life: “I’ll check in with my friend tomorrow.”
The best part is this works beyond hockey too. After a math test that didn’t go well, instead of thinking “I’m just bad at math,” you can dispute it: “I didn’t study that section enough, but I can review it and do better next time.” Or if a friend doesn’t text back right away, instead of “They must be mad at me,” you can remind yourself: “They’re probably busy, and I’ll check in tomorrow.” Just like in hockey, adding the Future step means you’re not only shifting your mindset—you’re building a plan to take action.
Practicing the ABCDEF steps makes you stronger, more confident, and ready for the next challenge—on the ice and in life. Try it now!